


Guess Who's Coming to Christmas Dinner?

by fievre



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-20
Updated: 2019-12-20
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:00:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21565735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fievre/pseuds/fievre
Summary: Regina is looking forward to spending Christmas with Emma and Henry and agrees to host the Charmings for Christmas dinner, but the celebration doesn't go quite as planned.
Relationships: Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan
Comments: 7
Kudos: 121
Collections: Swan Queen Advent Calendar Collection 1





	Guess Who's Coming to Christmas Dinner?

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Holidays! I hope you will like this short story. I had fun writing it! One thing I've always thought about is what it would have looked like if Emma and Regina had gotten together in Storybrooke and how messy it would've sometimes been trying to deal with everyone else as a couple. So this is set still somewhat early on in their relationship, and serves as a bit of a sequel to my other canon-divergent story, "[The Woods Are Calling (and I'd rather not go)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20491880)". Check that one out for more of Regina being a big old softie and stepping way outside her comfort zone for her loved ones.

“You did _what_?”

Emma glanced across the bedroom at Regina as she pulled her curly blonde hair into a ponytail. “Did you really not hear me the first time, or is this your way of expressing surprise?”

“You talked me into a ‘family’ Christmas dinner, here, in _my home_ –”

“Our home,” Emma corrected Regina cheerfully.

“With your parents. And I agreed, because –”

“You agreed because it’s a great idea, that will make Henry and me happy, and because you’ve gotten to like them ever since the camping trip we all took together.”

“‘Like’ is a strong word.”

Emma laughed. “Like is a very tepid word that’s kind of downplaying your feelings toward them, as quiet as you’d like to keep it. The fact is, David and Snow have grown on you.”

“Fine, whatever,” Regina said, exasperated. “The fact remains, I agreed to _them_ coming over, which was whatever, but then it became a thing where Ruby and her grandmother had to be included, because they were going to your parents’ for Christmas, and they couldn’t be left out of this ‘ _family’_ affair for whatever reason. Why your parents’ plans became _my_ problem, I still don’t understand.”

“You don’t really mind.”

“I’m _tolerating_ all this so-called merriment for you and Henry. My home _reeks_ of pine tar.”

This made Emma laugh again. “What’s Christmas without a real tree?”

“And now you’re telling me this dinner has expanded even further to include Belle and Gold?”

Emma sat on the edge of the bed and hit Regina with soft puppy dog eyes. “Henry wanted his other grandpa here. Henry never wants for anyone to feel excluded. He has a big heart. You know as well as I do.”

Regina sighed deeply. “Yes, but that doesn’t mean we have to open our doors to everyone.”

“Speaking of,” Emma said carefully.

“Absolutely not.”

“You don’t even know what I’m going to say!”

Regina crossed her arms and waited.

“Well… David kind of mentioned to me that Snow had seen Archie at the grocery picking out food for what looked like a very sad bachelor’s Christmas dinner. So… they were kind of hoping he could be invited over, too.”

Regina tilted her head. “Seriously?”

Emma nodded with a cringey kind of smile. “And Pongo, too.”

“He can’t leave that mutt at home?”

“You know Pongo is his unofficial plus one wherever he goes. And besides, what is that huge formal dining room for, if we’re not going to fill it with –”

“Acquaintances-at-best that hated my guts a few months ago?”

Emma covered Regina’s hand with her own. “Everyone wants to move forward, Regina. I know you do, too.”

“Oh, alright. Fine. They can all come. Invite anyone you want. But tell Snow if she wants to invite every stray bachelor in town, everyone’s got to bring something. I’m _not_ going to slave away cooking for all these people.”

“Yes!” Emma kissed Regina with exuberance that took them both by surprise. 

“What was that?” Regina asked, a little flustered. “Besides the obvious.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Emma said. Her cheeks had a pink flush to them that gave her an air of youthful enthusiasm. “I guess I’m just excited by the idea of a huge Christmas dinner with people I love around me. I haven’t had a lot of those, you know.”

“Neither have I,” Regina said. “Come to think of it, I’ve never had any big gatherings here.”

“See? It’s going to be great!”

Regina doubted that, but kept her feelings to herself. If it made Emma happy, then… but the dog.

“That mongrel in my house? Ugh...”

“Pongo likes you!”

Regina snorted. “Please. That flea-bitten cur is just lucky that Cruella…” Regina trailed off and a slow smile spread across her face.

“No way,” Emma said with alarm. “Don’t even think about it.”

“Why not? Why can we only have _your_ friends over? I’d like some people in my corner if I’ve got to break bread with my erstwhile enemies.”

Emma laughed. “Well, for one thing, your little girl gang is literally called the _Queens of Darkness_. Doesn’t exactly scream Christmas cheer.”

“So? Christmas is all about _second chances,_ right?”

“But Cruella will make Archie uncomfortable! And poor Pongo –”

“So _I’m_ the only one who has to be uncomfortable?”

“Would you really be, though? Truly, if you would, I’ll call this whole thing off. I just thought it might be good for everyone…”

Regina sighed. “I guess not. And anyway, Cruella and Ursula wouldn’t be caught dead. And I haven’t seen Maleficent in ages.”

“Crisis averted.” Emma stood up and kissed the top of Regina’s head. “I’m gonna go, I have a lot of shopping to do. I shop, you cook, yeah? You’ll see. It’s going to be an amazing Christmas.”

Regina watched as Emma fairly bounced out of their bedroom and then slid back under the covers, pulling them over her head. She rolled over and groaned into her pillow. She couldn’t think of anything less appealing than dinner with the Good People of Storybrooke, and Gold.

She supposed the best gift she could give Henry and Emma was the Christmas they wanted, and it was definitely going to cost her more than anything she could put under the tree. 

***

The next morning was actually pretty perfect, even as the dinner from a place a lot hotter than the North Pole loomed over the day. Emma had gotten up early and made Henry pancakes with chocolate chips in them, which they ate in the living room by the enormous tree Henry had picked out while they watched a cartoon Regina had never seen about a depressed boy with a huge head who wasn’t feeling the Christmas spirit until the other children in town decided to stop bullying him. Then, it was time for presents, which Henry and Emma insisted be accompanied by a Yule log burning on tv.

Henry was insanely spoiled with over a dozen gifts to open. He got action figures, books, a game console and a new tv for his room, and a new tablet. Henry gave Emma a locket with pictures of himself and Emma and Emma and Regina. Emma cried. Regina gave Emma a new watch and a new pair of leather boots, and there was another present upstairs featuring something black and silky that wasn’t to be opened in front of Henry. 

Emma gave Regina a pair of diamond earrings that she loved. Henry and Emma gave Regina a framed picture of the three of them that touched Regina beyond words. She felt a sense of completeness looking from the picture to their smiling faces that made even the dreaded dinner party seem like nothing at all. Regina had what she wanted, and she was happy. The life she had barely dreamed would be possible was now her everyday reality. Christmas was really special to her this year.

After that, they picked up the wrapping paper and it took their combined efforts to mount the tv in Henry’s bedroom and get the game console set up. Regina went and got dressed and was press-ganged by Henry and Emma into watching some kind of stop motion clay animation Christmas special that lowkey gave Regina the creeps. She instead focused on Henry smooshed between her and Emma on the couch, just being the kid that he was, somehow paying attention to the cartoon and playing with his new tablet at the same time. She exchanged glances with Emma over the top of Henry’s head and wondered if Emma was thinking the same thing she was: that Henry wouldn’t be a child forever, and these were the little moments that Regina wanted to remember always.

Even so, the morning was drawing on, and Regina needed to get started with dinner for twenty, or however many it was going to be, but she was feeling surprisingly at peace with the whole idea. As for the menu, well, she had wanted to try making a goose, but the very idea had made Henry blanch and Emma wrinkle her nose in distaste. Regina didn’t enjoy eating pig, so ham was out. So they were having two large roast chickens with stuffing and gravy and a vegetarian lasagna option. Not Regina’s first choices, but she knew the inexplicable affinity of the townsfolk for lasagna, so she just went with it.

Emma joined her in the kitchen shortly to work on making a huge bowl of eggnog, which Regina was skeptical about but Emma insisted she could handle on her own. Regina kept quiet and tried not to wince as she watched Emma move about the kitchen, shaking who knows what spices into the mixture and hoping against hope no one would contract salmonella. Regina meanwhile whipped up a big batch of mashed potatoes, unsure of the side-dishes some of the guests, especially Snow, were going to bring with them. Regina would have naturally preferred to handle everything herself but it would have been a ridiculous workload without the use of magic, and Snow had insisted it was the right way to go, chirping down the phone yesterday that it was no problem at all, and to leave to Snow to pass the word around that everyone had to contribute something to the dinner. 

Regina watched Emma gleefully beating… something… together into a bowl for a minute and then said, “You know what? I’m going to get started on setting the tables.”

Regina busied herself with that and Henry, ever the polite young man Regina was so proud of, came in and helped her finish the job. 

Regina came back to the kitchen to see Emma easing a big sloshy bowl of “nog” into the refrigerator when the doorbell rang. Regina frowned. “Whoever that is, is awfully early.” She glanced at the clock; it wasn’t even one yet.

“Oh, I thought I told you. Snow and David wanted to do gifts and whatnot before everyone else got here.”

“I suppose, but…” Regina said as Emma hurried out of the kitchen. Henry must’ve gotten the door, and sure enough, Regina heard Snow and David’s voices coming from the foyer. She sighed, hanging back in the kitchen, looking around for something to do. She supposed she should just go greet them.

She let her one grumpy thought of the day skate figure eights around in her mind, and wished she could have just had this day to herself with Henry and Emma. She didn’t want to share them or anything about their first Christmas together. The two of them were enough for Regina. Why couldn’t Regina be enough for the two of them? She glared balefully through the oven window at the two sweaty chickens and browning lasagna. 

“Alright, that’s enough,” she muttered to herself. “Christmas mode” was back on. She took off her apron and tossed her hair. She affixed a smile on her face when Snow bustled into the kitchen and flitted around putting all the food she’d brought on the counters. She let Snow hug her and tolerated Snow linking arms with her as they went back into the living room. Regina smiled at David and returned his Merry Christmas. She sat patiently through the gift exchange between the Charming side of her family. Henry was spoiled with six more gifts. Regina posed gracefully for the innumerable pictures Snow wanted to take: solo, with each of the family in pairs, as revolving trios, and then as a group.

David, Emma, and Henry found a sports game on television and Regina made small talk with Snow. It was pleasant enough, Regina decided. She could tell Emma was content, and surprisingly, Regina realized that she was too, all things considered.

And then the guests began to arrive.

***

Regina sat at the head of her table and looked over her guests. David and Snow, Granny, Ruby, Archie and his faithful mutt, Belle and Rumple, Leroy and his girlfriend and two of his buddies. Regina wasn’t sure who had invited Leroy and his crew but she went with it anyway.

Everyone had brought food, and lots of alcohol. Snow’s contribution was some kind of baked dish of unseasoned root vegetables. David had brought one of his horrible meatloafs he’d been deluded into thinking were his ‘specialty’. Granny had brought along a suspiciously store-bought looking dish of macaroni and cheese. Archie had offered up a very sad looking green bean casserole, featuring limp green beans swimming in mushroom soup with little bits of something crunchy sprinkled on top. To Regina, it looked revolting, but Henry was currently going back for seconds.

These people were basically Snow’s friends, who had followed her here, and Regina was hosting and feeding them. Snow was the star of this little universe, such as it was. For her part, Snow was practically incandescent with happiness, and Regina simply observed this without rolling her eyes. Definite progress there. She’d only seen Snow this happy a few times before. She looked almost as pretty as Belle French, who was glowing on her own and gazing at Rumple adoringly. For the life of her, Regina would never understand what that girl saw in Rumple – they had to be the most unlikely coupling ever. But then again, she supposed everyone here thought the same thing about Emma and herself.

As for Rumple, he looked happy, in his way. He was sitting next to Henry, and talking away. Regina made a mental note to ask Henry later what Rumple was so chatty about. Regina didn’t completely trust that man - she’d already taken his gift for Henry and put it aside to return to his junk shop later. A boy Henry’s age did _not_ need a monkey’s paw - even a supposedly ‘safe’ one.

The wine was flowing, people were eating and talking away. She watched quizzically as Ruby fed Pongo chicken and seemed to be having a conversation of sorts with the dog. Regina didn’t get it. Wolves and dogs weren’t even the same species, were they? Then it dawned on her that Ruby had probably had a little too much of Emma’s egg nog when she’d arrived.

Regina tried not to make a face when she saw David and Snow _feeding_ each other. Leroy and Nova were nuzzling each other’s noses, Archie was tipsily trying to engage Ruby in conversation, Granny was shoveling a third piece of lasagna into her mouth, and Henry was watching all of this go on with slightly wide eyes.

And then, Leroy started singing some old Yule tavern song and of course half the table joined in, swinging cups back and forth and all. Regina caught Emma’s eye and made a ‘you’ve-got-to-be-kidding-me’ face. Emma just laughed and shrugged.

When the interminable song ended, and the raucous talk around the table calmed down a bit, Regina was about to start taking the plates away when one voice raised up over the general conversation.

“Hey sister,” Leroy called out from the other end of the table. “What’s for dessert? Nothing with apples in it, I hope!” He slapped his hand on the table, and just about everyone at the table found this uproariously funny.

Regina forced a smile and met Emma’s eyes at the other end of the table. Emma was cringing, mouthing “Sorry.”

“By the way Regina, what did Santa bring you?” Granny piped up. “A heart in a box?”

More laughter. So she was going to be insulted by these people, too.

“What’s really funny is that I let all of you rabble into my house to be so rude and ruin my evening. You’re all here for each other, and not for me, so listen. Eat, drink and be merry. Just know that I didn’t want any of you here in the first place. Enjoy your lasagna.” She dabbed at her mouth and set her napkin down, got up and walked from the dining room and went straight upstairs.

It wasn’t long after that Regina began to hear cars outside, the front door opening and closing, and the sound of voices cresting and ebbing away. Emma had the good sense to let Regina stew for awhile, and Regina had time to change, shower, and crawl into her own bed. She lay there with her head propped up on one arm, looking at the picture of herself, Emma and Henry she had been presented with earlier, that was sitting on her nightstand. 

Henry knocked tentatively at the door after some time to say goodnight. He was too tactful to mention what had happened at dinner and instead thanked Regina for his presents one more time. Regina sat up and gave him a hug and a kiss on the forehead. 

“Love you, Henry.”

“I love you too, mom.”

Eventually, Emma appeared, and started disrobing as Regina watched her move around silently and get dressed for bed. She was wearing an old Red Sox t-shirt and plaid boxers when she disappeared into the en suite bathroom to brush her teeth. She reappeared after a minute or two and leaned against the door jamb and regarded Regina with sadness in her green eyes.

“I’m sorry,” she said simply.

“It’s not your fault.”

“It kind of is. I didn’t expect any of that. I thought it would just be a nice dinner.”

Regina shook her head. “It’s really not that simple, Emma. You’re a relatively new addition to these dynamics. Not even Christmas can alter the _long_ history I have with most of them overnight. I know you want everyone to get along, but…”

“I get it.”

“When we first got together, I warned you what it would be like. Sometimes… you’re just going to have to choose me, over everyone else. It’s not me drawing the line. I’m doing what you ask me to do, to try to move forward and keep the peace. It’s them.”

Emma crossed the room and climbed into bed next to Regina. “It’s not even a choice,” she said softly after she got situated next to Regina. She looked Regina in the eye and Regina could see that she meant it. “It’s always going to be you.”

“Good. I’m happy with just the three of us. I want you to know that it doesn’t matter to me if any of those people can _ever_ accept me. You and Henry see me for who I am. As long as I have you two, the rest doesn’t matter. I was more upset that the dinner didn’t go off the way you hoped than I was by any of their idiotic comments.”

Emma smiled. “Henry has a theory that the whole ‘gather the extended family and friends’ thing for the holidays is overrated, having tried it this once. I’m inclined to agree. You should have heard what I said to them after you left the room.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. They got an earful. Then I told them to kindly kick rocks and get out of our house. You’re going to get some apologies tomorrow, I bet.”

“Eh. They can keep them,” Regina pulled Emma closer. “All I care about is that you’re on my side.”

“Of course I am. I wouldn’t trade you for the lot of them,” Emma murmured. She pressed a kiss on Regina’s lips and smoothed a hand over her hair.

“Well, it’d be a very poor trade on your end if you did. I’ve been thinking, though. We ought to entertain more often.”

Emma raised an eyebrow. “The ‘Queens of Darkness’?”

“I think you’ll find they make better dinner guests than you’d think.”

“It’s only fair,” Emma said, busying herself placing little kisses along Regina’s neck. “Invite them whenever.” She lifted her head suddenly and regarded Regina. 

“What?”

“It really just hit me that you went out of your way to give me and Henry the best Christmas ever. Have I mentioned that I love you for that?”

“I know you do. But you could also… show me, in addition to telling me.”

“Oh? Hmm. I think that can be arranged.”

“Yes, I actually have some very _specific_ ideas about what _my_ best Christmas would look like,” Regina said.

“Just tell me what’s on your list, then, and I’ll make sure you get it,” Emma said with a twinkle in her eye.

Regina decided right then that if every Christmas would end like _this_ , she’d never care who came to dinner.

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> I hope everyone who comes across this little story has a wonderful holiday season with lots of fun. If you liked it, please let me know!


End file.
